10 Types of Nigerian parents: Where do you fit?
Are you cool, strict, super-strict or uptight?
Once, in a hospital, I ran into a friend whose left eye was mightily bandaged. A portion of her left head was also plastered. Instinctively, I assumed it was an automobile accident, but she told me it was domestic. Her mother threw her wooden-soled shoe on her head because she didn’t greet and welcome her on time… and took her to the hospital afterward. This got me thinking about the various types of Nigerian parents.
Types of Nigerian parents: Which one are you?
1. Make-no-mistake parents
This encompasses 98% of Nigerian parents. They don’t believe that human beings aren’t perfect, and a child can’t be allowed to be a child. You break a plate, you are flogged. They break a plate, you are flogged. They urge you to come first in class or receive doom at home. They don’t encourage risk-taking. In fact, their philosophy is: make no mistake in the first place and there will be nothing to rise above.
2. The fend-for-yourself parents
For this kind, their job is only to give birth to you and ensure you live past your third birthday, and from then on you are on your own. You either join your siblings in the farm or in hawking. They aren’t interested in anything else. Make your mistakes at your own risk. They simply do not care too much.
3. God-will-train parents
Having lots of kids is an achievement for them. They don’t care about the resources to care for the children; God who gave them children, will raise the little ones. This kind differs from the above because at least they worry and are in the know of the child’s affairs. The above parents may not even know the location of their children.
4. Nagging parents
I-am-so-poor parents. They can never accept that they have money even to their children. They say this to their kids to discourage them from being extravagant. They provide food, shelter, education, health. Other than these, they give you nothing else.
5. Competitive parents
Okoye’s son is studying engineering, you must too. Many Nigerian parents fall into this category. They like to compete. What school do their children go to? What courses are they studying? Where are they working? Because of this competition, they force their children into studying for degrees they despise. A child who is good a dancer would take up a course in engineering or risk not going to school just because his cousin is also studying engineering.
Even within the nuclear family, such parents will force a child who wants to be a lawyer to go and study medicine because his/her elder sibling is already studying law. These parents are self-centered. They think of themselves and competitors more than they think of the happiness of their children.
6. Uptight parents
This kind love and care for their children so much, but they never say so. They would never laugh or play with their children lest they are disrespected. They would never ever tell their children that they love them. That is a sacrilege. They do not hug their children. For them, kissing their children is a sin. They will provide for their children the best they can. They would show their emotions but never utter it. God forbid these parents wrong you. Forget about ever getting an apology.
7. Loving parents
AKA woke parents. These are the parents who aren’t shy about expressing love for their children. They tell them they love them, they hug and kiss them, they play and pray with them. They give them all the support they can. They do their best to provide comfort for their children.
8. Super-strict parents
These ones are found mostly in the military. They train their children with a strong hand. When they flog, they flog mercilessly. They can lock their child up in the guardroom for taking an extra slice of bread. Whenever they call their children, they know they’re getting served with heat.
These are the no-nonsense parents. Everything they do to the child is seen as training. They can fight in front of their children not minding if their fights affect the children psychologically. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love their children. They do love them, but they are too strict with the children because they want the best for them.
9. Show-off parents
These ones like to put on a show. They attend every party, funeral, bazaar, naming ceremony, and every other celebration. They wear the finest clothes and shoes. They don’t care if their children’s school fees are pending or if there is bread on the table or not. All they are interested in is looking good and new for every occasion. They ignore their children because their attention is elsewhere.
10. Religious parents
Among the different types of Nigerian parents, this type spends a lot of time loving and nurturing their children. Everything is about praying and keeping up appearances in church. If their children ask for guidance, they ask them to pray to get it. If they ask for advice from their parents, their parents would ask them to pray for it. They pray every morning, afternoon and night. There is no relationship between the parents and children, but they have a ‘tight’ relationship with God.
There are so many other kinds of parenting in Nigeria. Some parents fall into two or more of these categories. But no matter the category the parents fall into, one thing is constant; Nigerian parents love their children dearly.